Polygyny With Mercy, Not Polygyny With Apology

A sister opined that the practice of polygyny, by many men, is being used as a weapon to destroy women and therefore declared that we are incapable of practising polygyny correctly.

My response :

In summary, what you’re saying is that it is a heartless crime and offence to love another woman even after it is permitted to marry more wives, and that it has become impossible for a woman to love her husband with all her heart after he has “jilted” her by taking another wife. Something is amiss here. I hope we’re not saying that Allah’s permission to marry more than one wife is incompatible with sanity and is an open way to depression and misery.

And, if I understand you correctly, you are indirectly saying that Allah gave permission to men to practise what they are incapable of. In other words, you are insinuating that Allah made a mistake by permitting polygyny. Audhubillah!.

I want to remind us here that every muslim woman, from her childhood already knows that a muslim man has four slots/lifelines to fill when he decides to get married. She already knows that she is only concerned about the single slot she has come to fill and whatever happens to the remaining three slots is none of her business except she is on a mission impossible to challenge the right of Allah to legislate whatever laws He chooses for His slaves.

This will definitely have grave consequences for her and end up in a suicidal and catastrophic destruction of her life in this world and in the hereafter except she desists and sincerely repents for venturing into such a dangerous water.

To assume or pretend that we are not aware of the laws is of no benefit or consequence before Allah. To lament or rebel against the law is open disbelief (kufr). And to pretend to accept the law yet hate the practice and it’s practitioner is obvious hypocrisy (nifaq). To become emboldened to speak up against the law is blasphemy and heresy of the highest order.

Allah has taught men to be merciful and show empathy to their wives when taking more wives because it is a big trial on our womenfolk and it is not easy except for those Allah makes it easy for.

But no one questions or challenges Allah for putting him or her to trials. We can only endure our trials with patience, prayers, steadfastness and equanimity. We don’t expect people to apologise to us because we have been put to test by The Lord of the worlds, The Greatest, The Magnificent, The Omnipotent, The Wise.

We should learn to thread softly and with caution and wisdom in matters that bothers on the hereafter so that we don’t make irredeemable mistakes and later regret eternally. May Allah guide and rectify the affairs of our sisters. Amin.

Dr. Fuad-deen Olabisi Kekere-ekun writes from Lagos, Nigeria.


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