Islamic Sex Education: Take Care of Your Trust (Amānah) After Enjoying Your Rewardable Charity with Your Spouse


Islam is fondly described as a total way of life because there is no issue which does not have its Islamic side. Matters of Sex Education is not an exception. Certainly, nothing has been left in the Sharī’ah without being addressed (see Q6: verse 38).

The Prophet of Islam, Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, taught Muslims a distinct code of conduct, character and behaviour which is comprehensive and all encompassing. He taught them even how to visit the toilet and how they should conduct themselves while answering the calls of nature.

In the same trends, he made the Muslims to appreciate a cardinal difference between lawful and unlawful sexual relationships.

Status Of Lawful Sex In Islam

Lawful Sex attracts rewards while unlawful sex attracts punishments. This should not be surprising as Islamic law ensures that, for every act that is prohibited to be done, attracting sins, doing its contrary attracts rewards. This is the case with sexual relationship.

In _Hadith 25_ of _An-nawawi Collections_ , it was reported as follows:

Abu Dharri reported that a group of people among the companions of the Prophet said to him:

“O Messenger of Allaah, the affluent have made off with the rewards; they pray as we pray, they fast as we fast, and they give [much] in charity by virtue of their wealth.

He (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) said : Has not Allaah made things for you to give in charity ?

Truly every tasbeehah [saying: subhaan Allaah] is a charity, and every takbeerah [saying: Allaahu akbar] is a charity, and every tahmeedah [saying: al-hamdu lillaah] is a charity, and every tahleelah [saying: laa ilaaha illaa Allaah] is a charity.

And commanding the good is a charity, and forbidding an evil is a charity, and in the bud’i [sexual act] of each one of you there is a charity. They said : O Messenger of Allaah, when one of us fulfils his carnal desire will he have some reward for that ?! He (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) said : Do you not see that if he were to act upon it [his desire] in an unlawful manner then he would be deserving of punishment ? Likewise, if he were to act upon it in a lawful manner then he will be deserving of a reward.”

عَنْ أَبِي ذَرٍّ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ أَيْضًا، أَنَّ نَاسًا مِنْ أَصْحَابِ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه و سلم قَالُوا لِلنَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه و سلم يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ذَهَبَ أَهْلُ الدُّثُورِ بِالْأُجُورِ؛ يُصَلُّونَ كَمَا نُصَلِّي، وَيَصُومُونَ كَمَا نَصُومُ، وَيَتَصَدَّقُونَ بِفُضُولِ أَمْوَالِهِمْ. قَالَ: أَوَلَيْسَ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ مَا تَصَّدَّقُونَ؟ إنَّ بِكُلِّ تَسْبِيحَةٍ صَدَقَةً، وَكُلِّ تَكْبِيرَةٍ صَدَقَةً، وَكُلِّ تَحْمِيدَةٍ صَدَقَةً، وَكُلِّ تَهْلِيلَةٍ صَدَقَةً، وَأَمْرٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ صَدَقَةٌ، وَنَهْيٌ عَنْ مُنْكَرٍ صَدَقَةٌ، وَفِي بُضْعِ أَحَدِكُمْ صَدَقَةٌ. قَالُوا: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَيَأْتِي أَحَدُنَا شَهْوَتَهُ وَيَكُونُ لَهُ فِيهَا أَجْرٌ؟ قَالَ: أَرَأَيْتُمْ لَوْ وَضَعَهَا فِي حَرَامٍ أَكَانَ عَلَيْهِ وِزْرٌ؟ فَكَذَلِكَ إذَا وَضَعَهَا فِي الْحَلَالِ، كَانَ لَهُ أَجْرٌ. رَوَاهُ مُسْلِمٌ [رقم:1006].

Thus, from the above, it is clear that having conjugal relations with one’s spouse is a form of charity which attracts rewards to the couple.

The Amānah (Trust) On The Couple Due To Sex

As part of the Islamic Sex Education, there are do’s and don’ts in sexual engagements just as there are post sexual obligations to be observed (see Ibn Abdullahi As-sudaisi, _Halāl Sex and Intimacy)_

All these have their religious demands and spiritual benefits. Among such is the performance of the ritual bath called _Janābah_ which purifies couples from sexual filth.

It is disheartening that some Muslims are ignorant of the obligation to perform the _Janābah_ bath while some others do not know how to perform it.

In their discussions of the concept of Trust (al-amānah), scholars advance different perceptions so much that hardly would there be any thing that does not constitute a Trust. See: Salman Al-Husainī _An-Nadwī, Al-amānah fī Dawhi-l-Qur’an_ (India: Dāru As-sunnah, 1999).

In the light of this, Abū Dardāi is reported to have opined that:

*إن غسل الجنابة أمانة*
Meaning:

“Verily, the Janābah Bath is a Trust”

Premised on the above, it is obligatory upon all Muslim couples to be dutiful in the observance of their Janābah Bath after undergoing the rewardable intimacy charity.

Prospective couple should be well enlightened about this Trust as part of their pre-marriage Counselling. As a matter of fact, the ideal modules for Islamic pre-marriage Counselling should encompass, among others, the followings:

_Module 1._
Fiqh of Marriage and Family

_Module 2_
Rights and Duties in Marriage

_Module 3_
Islamic Code of Conduct for the Married

_Module 4_
Islamic Sex and Sexuality Tips

_Module 5_
Islamic Strategies on Marital Disputes Management and Resolution

Under _Module 4_ , the issue of the Trust placed on the couple after enjoying their conjugal benefits should be specially touched with all the seriousness it deserves.

How To Honour The Post Conjugal Trust?

Narrated `Aisha:

“Whenever the Prophet (ﷺ) took a bath after Janaba he started by washing his hands and then performed ablution like that for the prayer. After that he would put his fingers in water and move the roots of his hair with them, and then pour three handfuls of water over his head and then pour water all over his body.”

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ يُوسُفَ، قَالَ أَخْبَرَنَا مَالِكٌ، عَنْ هِشَامٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، زَوْجِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم كَانَ إِذَا اغْتَسَلَ مِنَ الْجَنَابَةِ بَدَأَ فَغَسَلَ يَدَيْهِ، ثُمَّ يَتَوَضَّأُ كَمَا يَتَوَضَّأُ لِلصَّلاَةِ، ثُمَّ يُدْخِلُ أَصَابِعَهُ فِي الْمَاءِ، فَيُخَلِّلُ بِهَا أُصُولَ شَعَرِهِ ثُمَّ يَصُبُّ عَلَى رَأْسِهِ ثَلاَثَ غُرَفٍ بِيَدَيْهِ، ثُمَّ يُفِيضُ الْمَاءَ عَلَى جِلْدِهِ كُلِّهِ‏.‏
Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 248
In-book reference : Book 5, Hadith 1
USC-MSA web (English) reference : Vol. 1, Book 5, Hadith 248

From the above, you can see that performing the ritual bath is as simple as that. Just to have the intention that what you want to do for taking the above bathing step is for Janābah.

Conclusion

There are many religious consequences for failure to perform Ritual Bath of Janābah after conjugal relationship. It is a breach of trust placed on the couple.

You cannot perform a valid prayer (Aṣ-ṣalah) until a valid Janābah is performed after sexual engagements. You are also prohibited from touching the Quran.

If you have been failing in your post conjugal trust as a Muslim, retrace your steps today, repent to Allah and seek His forgiveness. He is ever ready to forgive. And henceforth, let the Trust be breached no more!

Another face of marital trust is that, as part of Amānah, couples should know that disclosing the other room affairs to a third party (perhaps except in extreme lawful circumstances such as for medical demands) is a breach of trust as well.

Abdullahi Saliu Ishola, PhD
Senior Lecturer
Islamic Law Department
Faculty of Law
Kwara State University Malete-Nigeria
asishola1@gmail.com
07038998357

Related:

Book Review: Halāl Sex and Intimacy By Abdullateef Lanre Abdullahi

Ruling on engaging in phone sex during the day in Ramadan: does it require repentance or expiation?

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