The Issue Of Parents Disapproving Step-siblings And Cousin Marriages In The Yoruba Ethnic Group Of Nigeria


This article would examine and juxtapose the sets of people individuals are entitled and allowed to get married to using Islamic view and the societal lens, especially that of Nigeria environment and two of its major tribes which are the Hausas/Fulanis and Yorubas.

Marriage is traditionally defined as the joining together of a man and a woman to become one which is known as a couple. Before getting married, the lady’s father’s permission must be sought as he is known as the Wali (custodian, authority, master, and/or protector in the Arabic language) , but for the aim of this writing, the author would use custodian and/or protector.

The Qur’an, Surah/Chapter 4 (An-Nisa: The Women) looks at three things and they are marriage (how many women are allowed for a man to marry, who individuals can marry, and how the men are the commanders of their woman/women), property sharing, and women (as the name of the surah implies). This part would discuss marriage and what kind of people individuals are allowed or entitled to get hitched to. Chapter 4, verse 23 states that “Forbidden unto you are your mothers, and your daughters, and your sisters, and your father’s sisters, and your mother’s sisters, and your brothers daughters, and your sister’s daughters, and your foster mothers, and your foster sisters, and your mothers-in-law, and your daughters who are under your protection (born) of your women who ye have give in- but ye have not gone in unto them, then it is no sin for you (to marry their daughters), and the wives of your sons who (spring) from your loins. And (it is forbidden unto you) that ye should have two sisters together, except what hath already happened (of that nature) in the last. Lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful. The society sees this aforementioned verse as incest. Incest is defined as the sexual intercourse or copulation between family members, but it only mentions siblings, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, and foster family members in that verse. Islam doesn’t frown upon cousin marriages or half sibling marriages. The Northern part of Nigeria who happen to be the Hausas/Fulanis engage in the cousin marriage which is Islamically right as Prophet Muhammad (صَلَّى ٱللَّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ) himself got married to one of his female cousins in the person of Zaynab. Many of the famous and affluent Hausa/Fulani individuals are married to their cousins. But in the Yoruba ethnicity, cousin marriage seems to be prohibited which the majority of people from that tribe detest as well, including the author of this article. The second issue of this writing is the marriage between step siblings. Step siblings are those individuals who share no parents with each other. What prompted the penner of this writing to discuss the marriage between step siblings is borne from a story penned by sister Lateefah Adewunmi Jumuah also known as LAJFINGERS on Facebook. Sister LAJFINGERS is an author of many stories which the penner of this article has read almost all her stories herself which she always enjoys as the penner of this article is also a short story authoress, film writer (both story and screenwriter (but novice at this). LAJFINGERS and the article writer have a thing in common but yet they are different in the sense that LAJFINGERS starts her stories with themes and infuse romance almost at the end, but the penner of this article does the opposite. The particular story of LAJFINGERS that gave birth to marriage between step siblings is an ongoing one and it is titled MY CRUSH 4 which talks about a young lady whose name is Bareerah who lived with her father because her parents are divorced and her mother took Rodiah (her younger sister) with her to her new husband’s (father of two who are Jamil and Haneefah) with her. Bareerah’s mother has Hassan and Hussein for Jamil’s father. What prompted Bareerah to go live with her mother was because of her education (she wanted to pass her JAMB examination). While on the bus to her mother’s house, she meets a young man and a lady who she gets to know is the sister of the young man. The sister had a bad attitude with Bareerah, unknown to them that they are step siblings. Jamil helps Bareerah pass her JAMB examination because she first was showing him attitudes but he never was discouraged, rather he pushed her by tutoring her with Haneefah who was still having dilemmas with her. In the long run, Bareerah falls in love with Jamil. Jamil and Bareerah have been in love with each other since the first day they met on the bus, but Jamil being a devoted Muslim doesn’t want a lady spoiling his Islam, so he waits till Bareerah is done with her Bachelors degree to tell their parents that he would like to marry Bareerah. Because of the society that they are in (Nigeria, specifically of the Yoruba ethnic group), Baraeerah’s mom decides to tarnish her daughter’s image in front of Jamil by making a truck driver in the person of Mr. Dotun pretend to impregnate Bareerah which Jamil doesn’t buy. Because of what her mother does to her, she goes back to her father’s house. The author of this article is not trying to give out what another person has written, but all she is trying to do is use the story to pass a message out which is that Nigerians, especially Yorubas hate the ideology of step siblings marrying, which is not a bad idea because they are not in any way related to each other since they do not share the same bloodline.

Marrying one’s cousin or step sibling (if applicable) is better than committing zina or suicide. This is because if an individual is not allowed to do what they like as far as it is Halal (good), they can do the unspeakable thing(s). The Quran didn’t specify that we can’t get married to any of the aforementioned. Parents should try to be reasonable when it comes to what their children want, especially marriage as they (the children) are the ones who see the qualifications in who they have chosen as spouses and those who they want to spend their remaining lives with. Marriage should not be forced or arranged by parents for their guards because Islam mentions that the consent of the man and the woman, especially the woman is what is important and must be agreed to in Nikkah (marriage in Arabic). In Surah/Chapter 30 of the Quran whose title is Surah/Chapter Rum (The Romans), verse 28 states that “He coineth for you a similitude of yourselves. Have ye, from among those whom your right hands possess, partners in the wealth We have bestowed upon you, equal in respect thereof, so that ye fear them as ye fear each other (that ye ascribe unto Us partners out of that which We created)? Thus We display the revelation for people who have sense. Also in Surah/Chapter 24 which is An Noor (The Light), verse 32 states that “And marry such of you as are solitary and the pious of your slaves and maid-servants. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them of His bounty. Allah is of ample means. Aware”. If Allah detests and disallows forced or arranged marriages, why do some of our parents love and engage in them?

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One comment on “The Issue Of Parents Disapproving Step-siblings And Cousin Marriages In The Yoruba Ethnic Group Of Nigeria

In the south is a taboo for man to marry his cousin.
Anyway thanks for the information I’m enlighten.

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