Before the corona virus pandemic and the lock down here in Lagos, I used to keep a skin cut. A brother does this at least twice a month for me and I pay. After the pandemic, I was used to keeping a mini Afro. The guy after sometimes stopped greeting me. I called his attention to that many times and he always come up with an excuse of not seeing me.
I had a similar experience with a guy who sells balangu (we call every meat on fire here suya). I decided to stop consumption of too much of red meat.
Diving deeper, I have had friends who are only interested in what you can offer financially. Share your problems with them and you will later hear them mocking you elsewhere even though they pretended to be sorry for you while listening to your ordeal.
Even as it is encouraged to assist people and let them benefit from you financially, relationship with people MUST be for the sake of Allãh. In Sunan Abi Daud hadith 4681, Abu Umãmah reported that the messenger of Allãh said:
من أحب لله، وأبغض لله, وأعطى لله، ومنع لله، فقد استكمل الإيمان.
If anyone loves for Allãh sake, hates for Allãh’s sake, gives for Allah’s sake, and withhold for Allah’s sake, he will have perfect faith.
The idea about liking someone has to be for Allah’s sake. It’s not permissible to hate someone’s good/Righteous deeds for the sake of Allah, or love someone’s evil for Allah’s sake.
Extending this to Facebook, it’s clear that your relationship with some people is based on what appeal to them. Criticize a profession and you find those in that line of work feel uncomfortable. Present evidences from the kitáb and sunnah about a particular bad habit and you find people trying to defend it using their intellect. It’s almost as if you are here to satisfy them or/and write to please what is appealing to them.
I was discussing with a brother few days ago. A platform that encourages you to be more concerned about who has responded to your post, or how many likes you’ve gotten is dangerous for your ikhlãs and well-being. Personally, this platform is safer when used for da’wah or/and advertisement of what we do. Our deeds are recorded on and offline.
Abraham Lincoln once said “I destroy my enemies when i make them my friends”. Logical but more of a political statement. Having a friend putting you down secretly is worse than an enemy who openly shows his hatred. I’m reviewing my friends list. On and offline, keeping in mind that there should be room for addition or/and reduction. I need friends. Not Friends with dagger.
الْأَخِلَّاءُ يَوْمَئِذٍ بَعْضُهُمْ لِبَعْضٍ عَدُوٌّ إِلَّا الْمُتَّقِينَ
‘Close friends, that Day, will be enemies to each other, except for the righteous.’ Surah az-Zukhruf verse 67
Musa Ibrahim-Katsina,
Mudeer Daarul Imaam Al-Layth International schools, Lagos Nigeria.
