Brothers who marry our sisters in hijab/niqob, treat them unfairly and then savagely end the relationship in a shariah-noncompliant divorce should always remember one thing — Allah is the owner of retribution!
Divorces in which you leave the sister stranded with an infant/some children while you refuse to take responsibility for even your own children is shariah-noncompliant! No child support, no compassion, nothing! Just plane stupid I-don’t-care attitude like a cold-blooded terminator!
The fact that Allah is yet to deal with you means that He is giving you some respite to sincerely repent from your irresponsibility and turn a new leaf.
Islam already states clearly the responsibilities of the man as it placed him in charge of the household — financial responsibilities, protection and kindness. And when you want out of the relationship, there are rules guiding the the nuptial dissolution. You can’t just send a woman out of your house overnight without shariah-compliant procedures.
In fact, the best of mankind — our beloved prophet Muhammad ﷺ — advised us to treat women kindly, even if we do not love them anymore. One of the most instructive ahaadith a man must memorise is:
…إستوصوا بالنساء خيرا…
حديث صحيح رواه الشيخان في الصحيحين عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم من حديث أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه
I still do not understand how the girl you were dying for just yesterday suddenly became your sworn enemy. Abah!
I always thank Allah on behalf of a sister like that in our area. Her husband had divorced her while nursing an infant. The brother was unable to give any tangible reasons for his action. She pleaded and invited notable personalities to help beg the brother to not throw her out like that. All those effort proved abortive.
Guidance of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) with regard to marriage
She had to seek shelter in a nearby masjid with her baby, enduring (in her jilbaab) the humiliation and lack of privacy in the day time, then the chilly, mosquito-infested atmosphere of the place of worship at nights. Many sleepless nights to ward ward off the plasmodium-carrying insects from biting her defenceless but adorable child and also on the lookout for other dangers lurking around.
The Imam of that masjid even harassed her at some point with stupid deceptive marriage proposals.
This went on for sometime before she was able to save up some money to rent a room apartment. Did I mention that she was working in a private school as a teacher? I can only imagine what she went through to save rent from the meagre salary she was getting from the school in this our overpriced Lagos!
Why didn’t she go back to her parents?
She couldn’t because they were not supportive of her sunnah ways from the outset. She decided to courageously face the mess all by herself.
It’s a long story sha but Alhamdullillah Allah helped her all the way and rewarded her steadfastness!
Last year, after 9 years of the trial, she got the attention of a wealthy man in our area.
It was the most subtle khitbah I have seen. We didn’t want her to know the man’s intention for the fear that he might not like her because we had only related her story to him. Alhamdullillah he liked her! And the proceeding steps were swift!
The nikah was simple but rich. The acceptance of the boy into that new family was touching! He wore the same clothes with the other children of the man!
We ate and drank with joy and her parents passionately prayed that for her marital bliss. The grandmother’s du’a was so emotional. I pray Allah accept all the du’a they made for her new family and even the ones they didn’t remember to ask Allah.
This is glad tidings for our sisters facing similar problems. If you had been dutiful to your Lord and your marriage, yet the trails come, know that Allah will vindicate you bi idnillah!
Abdulghaniy Akinremi Abu Muhammad writes from Lagos Nigeria (October 2021).
