One of the reasons we find it so easy to engage in sins is because we are focused on the sin itself so it becomes easy to belittle it. It is just a ‘little compromise’. I have done enough good deeds, one ‘small error’ is forgivable. Just one glance! Just a few minutes of indiscretion. I will do it just once! I will just have a feel but won’t go all the way. If we could instead think of the one whom we are sinning against it may have served as a better restraint. Allāh created you with no input from you, fashioned you out of nothing, placed you in the wombs of your mother and nurtured you till you reached an age when you got control of your senses, then placed some restrictions to help guide you through life, but then you prefer to disobey him, and even do it without remorse.
Sins are inevitable, but the one who sins and feels guilty, and immediately repents to his Lord is nothing like the one who sins and is arrogant and bold about it, or delays repentance. Delaying repentance is itself a sin from which you need repentance for it indicates disregard for Allāh. Imagine you offend your father, and rather than say sorry to him, you withhold the apology. The offense may be annoying but your refusal to apologise is even more annoying to him because it is a way of showing you have little regard for him or fear any consequence for your action from him. This is why delaying repentance is in itself a sin. A believer repents immediately he realises he has transgressed the limits of his Lord and will do that each time he transgresses even if it were a million times and never gets tired. However for a repentance to be genuine it has to be sincere (توبة نصوحا), otherwise it is just words from your mouth with no effect.
Conditions of a Sincere repentance.
1. You give up the sin immediately.
You don’t repent while still engaged in the sin, you must have given it up sincerely, and you can’t deceive Allāh. It has to be solemn that you are done with it. What will happen in future is beyond your control, whether or not you will fall back is immaterial at that moment, but deep within your heart you must give up the sin completely and denounce any association with it. More importantly, you must give up the sin solely for the sake of Allāh. If you are giving it up because you fear you may get caught (like bribery if the laws become stringent), or because you have lost the ability to engage in the sin (like an adulterer who becomes impotent or a Porn addict who becomes blind), then such has not given it up for the sake of Allāh and their repetnace is not sincere. If you were to remove the obstacle hindering them from the sin they would have returned to it.
2. You should regret having done it.
How do you feel when you think of the sin in question? If you still derive some pleasure or enjoyment from thinking of it then you haven’t really given it up and you will most likely go back to it. This is perhaps why many people claim they repeatedly repented but went back to the sin, it was because the repentance was never sincere. You have to be repulsed whenever you think of having engaged in the sin. Think more of the one against whom you transgressed – Allāh. How bold were you to disobey Him. What if you had died while engaged in that action? What if He had exposed you to the public? How indignifying it was for you to stoop so low! These should be the thoughts in your mind whenever you think of the sin, but if you still think of that brother or sister with whom you had illicit sex and feel a longing for it, and sweet memories, then you don’t regret the action and will likely remain stuck in the loop. Sincere repentance requires you to genuinely regret the sin and feel remorseful for it, it is part of what will help ensure you don’t go back to it.
3. You should resolve never to go back to it.
This you do both in your heart and in your actions. You make a solemn promise to Allāh and yourself never to go back to it. You cut off COMPLETELY from anything that remotely links you to it. You want to repent from watching porn for instance, but you still watch movies and shows that are known to promote immorality and nudity then you are not sincere about giving it up. You want to repent from a haram relationship but you still keep the boyfriend and girlfriend with whom you are engaged in the illicit affair with, such repentance can not be said to be sincere. You are supposed to cut off every person and thing that is directly connected to the sin.
If one of these three is missing then the repentance is not sincere, i.e, giving up the sin, regretting it and resolving never to go back.
Dhikr in the Vacuum of Time By Abu Mazeedatilkhayr Bn Sa’eed
However, for sins that have to do with human-human relationships such as illegally consuming the wealth of others or denying people their right, then there is a fourth condition for sincere repentance, which is that whatever was taken from another person unjustly must be returned for the repentance to be sincere.
Dear Muslims, the doors of repentance remains wide open, why delay it? Is the pleasure of that sin worth more than the pleasure of your Lord? Is it sufficient enough to sell your success in the hereafter? Here is Allāh admonishing us all:
“O you who believe! Turn to Allaah with sincere repentance! It may be that your Lord will expiate from you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow (Paradise) the Day that Allaah will not disgrace the Prophet (Muhammad) and those who believe with him. Their Light will run forward before them and (with their Records Books of deeds) in their right hands. They will say: ‘Our Lord! Keep perfect our Light for us [and do not put it off till we cross over the Siraat (a slippery bridge over the Hell) safely] and grant us forgiveness. Verily, You are Able to do all things’”
[al-Tahreem 66:8]
Do not despair O Muslim, your sin is never too great for Allāh to forgive. Each time you find yourself overwhelmed by sin turn to Allāh in repentance, He is always willing to forgive if you just turn to Him sincerely. The number of times is irrelevant as long as you keep the repentance sincere. It is humans that get tired of forgiving and giving second chances, Allāh is magnanimous in forgiveness.
Allāh loves those who repent, and the quantity of their sins doesn’t matter.
It was narrated that Abu Hamzah Anas ibn Maalik al-Ansaari (may Allaah be pleased with him), the servant of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), said: The Messenger of Allaah said: “Allaah rejoices more over the repentance of His slave than any one of you who finds his camel after having lost it in a desolate land.” متفق عليه
May Allāh make sincere repentance easy for us all.
A. Haroun
